Wednesday, December 26, 2012

Les Mis.



Les Mis.
nuff said peeps.
Go see it.  Every penny spent is worth it.
I love this musical.
It's amazing.
Words cannot describe.

What a great way to spend my Christmas night.
Spent with the ones I love.
Makes me remember how overly blessed I am.
Sat by my mama&shared fond memories throughout the show.

For my 16th birthday my mom packed up my sister&i and took us to St. Geezy.
SURPRISE!
Les Miserables was playing at Tuacahn Theatre.
We sat 3rd row.
Hands down the best performance I had ever seen.
I was captivated.  

My favorite song: On My Own.
So classic and beautifully sung.
Also, of course, I Dreamed a Dream.
Anne Hathaway does a PHENOMENAL job.

GO SEE IT!
Guys, I seriously cried during the movie, REAL tears!
So touching.
Merry Christmas y'all.

Monday, December 17, 2012

It's just mean.

At times, life can get very frustrating.  People get frustrating.  Feelings get frustrating.  In fact, everything is frustrating.

Things I've recently learned:

  • Killing people with kindness does not actually kill them (unfortunately).
  • No matter where you are in life, there will ALWAYS be "Angela's" there to tear you down.
  • You don't have to predict the future, let the dust all settle.
  • Realize that where you are right now, doesn't mean you'll be here forever.
  • Patience is NOT my virtue.
  • Feelings that you develop for people tend to remain the same unless something inside of yourself CHANGES.
  • Everything happens in time

I'm tired of people being mean.  I just wish that everyone would play nice.  I hate watching people's heart break because somebody else was just mean.  It hurts.  We all know how it feels, we've all been hurt or disappointed or let down at SOME point in time.  

I know YOU.  I know who you are and your dreams and your heart.  You're a nice person.  So please, stop being so mean.


Sunday, December 9, 2012

The Good CTerry.

Lo and behold I woke up to snow!! 

I think I may have blew that out of proportion....  I woke up to little white flakes speckled across the car window, tips of the grass, and my fence.  But hey, white speckles is snow no matter where you go! I'll take it, I just hope we get some good powder here in the valley sooooooon!

When I peeked through my window and saw this so called snow, I felt the need to jump up, yip and scream, and then contact "the crew" to inform them of the centimeter outside.  "The Crew" consists of people who I know love the snow due to skiing&snowboarding.  

Daulton
Goose
Brett
Morgan
Tyler
Jordan Brown
Jordan Stowe
Jordan Monsen
Matt Griner
Coulson
Charlie
Megan
Brenen
..........
Christian

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Ah man Chris.  Chris LOVES snowboarding.  Then all of these crazy memories of this kid came flooding and all of these reasons of why I am still pulling for this guy to recover became so clear.  He deserves to recover.  He earned it.  I've been lucky enough to go and see this crazy cool cat quite a bit lately.  I'm sure Merilee and Rich are ready to strangle me, but I count down to when they say "Yes Shelby, it's okay if you come today." Then I scream, yip, jump around and rush out the door to my friend.  

I've been Christian's friend since my sophomore year in high school.  I thought I'd share some of the insane memories he has provided me.

One night Christian&the boys called us girls to come over.  The boys consisted of: Skylar, Brenen, Eric, Christian, Jordan, Matt, Logan, and Jon.  Of course us girls: Daulton, Megan, Cristin, Katie, and myself. Anyways, they called and told us to head to Skylar's house.  Skylar's house was the 'party' house.  We would go down to his basement which had a huge TV, thousands upon thousands of movie choices, foosball, an endless amount of water bottles and peanut M&M's, a hot tub, a HUMUNGO backyard, the wii, playstation 2, aaaaannnnd Skylar also had a VERY attractive older brother who would sometimes come and chill with us too(sorry Rik).  We never ran out of options at the Sanford's house.  That night there was a couple tournaments going on, a Foosball Tournament, and a Bowling Tournament on the Wii.  It was INTENSE. And by intense I mean, screaming, jumping, yelling, running laps around the basement when someone scored ... intense.  We were down to the winning brackets.  If my memory serves me correctly, I believe it was Jon and Logan left on the foosball table and Christian and Skylar left on bowling.  Everyone else was scattered across the couch, bean bags, and any floor space left.  Leave it up to Christian to ruin a tournament... For those who don't know, the Wii is a nintendo game which you hold a controller that senses your movements.  Because it is an "active" video game, they have these wrist straps so if you accidentally let go of the controller, it doesn't fling across the room hitting someone or the TV.  Christian was obviously TOO COOL for wrist straps. DUH. So what happened? He got really excited when bowling, bowled too hard, and there flew the controller right smack into the Sanford's TV.  I think all of the girls gasped, and the room went silent for a moment.  Christian started laughing while everyone jumped up and inspected the TV.  Of course, there was a mark.  I don't think it cracked it, but there was a very legible indent proving that Christian had indeed, broke the rules and ruined the Tournament.  I believe to this day the Sanford's have a mark in the very same TV, no thanks to Christian.  

We all cleaned up rapidly and ran out of the house.  It was time for Katie to go home, so we have this lovely idea of racing to Katie's house.  All of the boys pile into Christian's  1990's Volkswagen Jetta while us girls gracefully jump into Daulton's 1980-somethin YELLOW  convertible Chevy Cavalier aka The Sunshine Mobile.  We were flying down streets.  Residential areas too, don't ask me how we didn't kill anyone or get a ticket.  But we were ffflllyyying down streets.  Us girls were screaming at Daulton to DRIVE FASTER!!! Under peer pressure, what did Daulton do? She drove faster of course.  We were ahead, we were going to win those stupid boys, all up until we noticed too late, the BIGGEST dip I ever did see.  Daulton locked the brakes up, but too late.  We hit that dip so hard, of course none of us had seat belts, and I swear the car soared 10 feet into the air.  We all smacked our heads on the metal bar that supports the soft top, and when that car landed it made the nastiest crunch EVER.  We had learned our lesson for that night, all of our necks hurt wildly, our pride hurt as the boys passed us, pointing, screaming, and laughing.  We drove silently the fews blocks to Katie's house, and we were terrified that we had broke Daulton's car.  We didn't race Daulton's car for like...... a day.. Up until the next opportunity for a race came up.. Pfff stupid kids we were indeed.  

^^^^^

One night all of 'the gang' was hanging out at Daulton's moms house.  We were sprawled out over the couches and floors telling jokes and listening to stories.  I'm pretty sure we were all 'dying' of boredom, so what does Christian do? He decides it's a good idea to start teasing me.  He starts poking me, tickling me, pulling my hair, pushing me off the couches.  Mean mean mean! So somehow this results in a huge little wrestling match.  I'm just a helpless little girl, guys.. Christian beat me up so bad! Anyways, Christian has got me rolled up, trapped, on the floor.  Daulton's mom had some papers left out on the floor, and on top of the papers were a great big shiny pair of scissors.  Christian swooped up the scissors threatening all the while of how he was going to chop my long hair off.  I knew that Christian wouldn't cut my hair, but I whooped and hollered all the same.  I'm trying to kick at him as he teases me waving these very sharp metal sticks at me.  I finally free my hand to reach up and smack him, just as he swoops those metaled teeth at my hair.  Unfortunately my hand got in the way of those scissors. Blood sprayed everywhere.  Christian instantly dropped the scissors and jumped back, as if no one would have noticed what was happening before them.  I kicked up and just stared at my hand.  Christian freaking cut my hand open with scissors! Didn't your mom teach you ANYTHING Christian?! You don't run with knives and you DON'T play with scissors!! Daulton's mom got home to see the bloody mess.  My hand is rrreeeaaaalllyyy starting to hurt by now.  So she grabs me and takes me upstairs to clean it up.  She put this cleaning stuff on it and it BURNED! It eventually stopped bleeding and we bandaged it up.  I don't think Christian ever lived that one down with me.  For weeks my hand would split open and bleed.  Think of how often you use your hands...  Every time I would extend my hand to grab something, that cut would burst open.  To this day, I have a scar that runs from by thumb to my palm.  It's only about an inch long, but it's still here.  No thanks to Christian.

 ^^^^^

Christian always came and supported us girls in our dancing.  All of us did Ballroom in highschool.  He would always come to our competitions and our performances.  He's a goooood friend.  Well, we had a competition at BYU Friday and Saturday.  He came to our Friday night performances and I'm sure afterwards we had all gathered spending our time together.  Cristin and Daulton had slept over at my house.  I did what's called 'Open' Latin Ballroom.  This is not a team event, it's individuals, just you and your partner and we did Latin style.  Both Daulton and Cristin had finished their events on Friday, and mine extended into Saturday.  So The next morning, both Cristin and Daulton had showered off their nasty dance hair&make up.  I was left in all of my full blown makeup and hair.  Ballroom 'get up' is scary.  You have pounds of makeup caked on your face, your hair is slicked back into a bun, resembling a bowling bowl.  Well Christian and Skylar wanted to go hike Bridal Veil Falls, and I didn't have competition until later, so we decided we had time to do it.  They came and picked us up, mind you Cristin&Daulton looked super cute while I'm in full blown dance makeup, and we headed to Provo Canyon.  We stopped by Will's Pitstop so Chris&Sky could pick up kids' meals from Subway.  We rolled the windows down and blasted Dashboard Confessionals: Vindicated, Blink 182: What's my Age Again, Flypsyde: Someday.  We danced, and sang, and enjoyed the fresh September breeze flapping through our hair. We got to Bridal Veil and raced up the mountain slope to the Falls.  We hiked to the upper one and splashed&played in the water. I remember having this raging crush on Christian at the time.  He would grab me and throw me in the water and I just soaked all of this boys attention up.  We brought a camera and took millions of pictures to document the day.  I have those pictures framed and hanging in my room, still.  

^^^^^

These memories came flooding to me this morning.  I have many more to tell.  As you can see, Christian is a goon.  This is the Christian I love.  This is MY Christian.  I hold this boy so dear to my heart.  I look forward to the time when he&i can reminisce and laugh at all of these simple little stories.  I'm thankful for high school and the friendships that I gained.  I'm thankful that these crazy boys would spend their time with us girls.  I love my friends.  

I love you Christian.  I continue to pray daily, nightly, hourly, and every waking second.  There is not a second that goes by where you are not held in my heart.  I am thankful for the friendship that I have formed with your parents, they are good parents who love you... I'll see you soon!! 


Sunday, December 2, 2012

“How lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard.” 




I never want to forget today.  The complete and utter raw emotion of it all.  The huge impact on your heart when suddenly you realize how much somebody means to you.  That despite where fate takes us, no matter what lies in the cards, I care, and I care so unbelievably much.
  

Fate is a hard thing to understand.  God is a hard man to accept.  It's not fair.  Life is not fair.  Death is not fair.  It all comes so quickly, the laughter, anger, memories, and then they are gone.  No matter how hard you try you can never replay a moment, make it go slower, or erase a memory.  My generation is too young for us to lose loved ones.  We have so much life ahead of us.. To stand by and watch the pain and suffering is more than I can bear.  I want to make it go away.  I wish and wish that the stars had aligned differently for you.  


“The most beautiful people we have known are those who have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss, and have found their way out of the depths. These persons have an appreciation, a sensitivity, and an understanding of life that fills them with compassion, gentleness, and a deep loving concern. Beautiful people do not just happen."

― Elisabeth Kübler-Ross





Because you have known defeat, and because you have known suffering, struggle, and loss.  I believe that you are a beautiful person.  I believe in you.  You are a beautiful person, and it was not by chance.


You're struggle is too big for your shoulders, and I am so sorry.  My dear friend I am so sorry.  I will be there for you, in the darkest of times.  I am so grateful that we were able to forgive and our paths have crossed once more.  These last few months spent with you have not been by chance, it was meant to be.  Our friendship will not dwindle.  I love you. I love you. I love you.


“Friendship," said Christopher Robin, "is a very comforting thing to have.” 
― A.A. Milne