Les Mis.

Les Mis.

nuff said peeps.

Go see it.  Every penny spent is worth it.

I love this musical.

It's amazing.

Words cannot describe.

What a great way to spend my Christmas night.

Spent with the ones I love.

Makes me remember how overly blessed I am.

Sat by my mama&shared fond memories throughout the show.

For my 16th birthday my mom packed up my sister&i and took us to St. Geezy.

SURPRISE!

Les Miserables was playing at Tuacahn Theatre.

We sat 3rd row.

Hands down the best performance I had ever seen.

I was captivated.  

My favorite song: On My Own.

So classic and beautifully sung.

Also, of course, I Dreamed a Dream.

Anne Hathaway does a PHENOMENAL job.

GO SEE IT!

Guys, I seriously cried during the movie, REAL tears!

So touching.

Merry Christmas y'all.

It's just mean.

At times, life can get very frustrating.  People get frustrating.  Feelings get frustrating.  In fact, everything is frustrating.

Things I've recently learned:

• Killing people with kindness does not actually kill them (unfortunately).
• No matter where you are in life, there will ALWAYS be "Angela's" there to tear you down.
• You don't have to predict the future, let the dust all settle.
• Realize that where you are right now, doesn't mean you'll be here forever.
• Patience is NOT my virtue.
• Feelings that you develop for people tend to remain the same unless something inside of yourself CHANGES.
• Everything happens in time

I'm tired of people being mean.  I just wish that everyone would play nice.  I hate watching people's heart break because somebody else was just mean.  It hurts.  We all know how it feels, we've all been hurt or disappointed or let down at SOME point in time.  

I know YOU.  I know who you are and your dreams and your heart.  You're a nice person.  So please, stop being so mean.

The Good CTerry.

Lo and behold I woke up to snow!! 

I think I may have blew that out of proportion....  I woke up to little white flakes speckled across the car window, tips of the grass, and my fence.  But hey, white speckles is snow no matter where you go! I'll take it, I just hope we get some good powder here in the valley sooooooon!

When I peeked through my window and saw this so called snow, I felt the need to jump up, yip and scream, and then contact "the crew" to inform them of the centimeter outside.  "The Crew" consists of people who I know love the snow due to skiing&snowboarding.  

Daulton

Goose

Brett

Morgan

Tyler

Jordan Brown

Jordan Stowe

Jordan Monsen

Matt Griner

Coulson

Charlie

Megan

Brenen

..........

Christian

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Ah man Chris.  Chris LOVES snowboarding.  Then all of these crazy memories of this kid came flooding and all of these reasons of why I am still pulling for this guy to recover became so clear.  He deserves to recover.  He earned it.  I've been lucky enough to go and see this crazy cool cat quite a bit lately.  I'm sure Merilee and Rich are ready to strangle me, but I count down to when they say "Yes Shelby, it's okay if you come today." Then I scream, yip, jump around and rush out the door to my friend.  

I've been Christian's friend since my sophomore year in high school.  I thought I'd share some of the insane memories he has provided me.

One night Christian&the boys called us girls to come over.  The boys consisted of: Skylar, Brenen, Eric, Christian, Jordan, Matt, Logan, and Jon.  Of course us girls: Daulton, Megan, Cristin, Katie, and myself. Anyways, they called and told us to head to Skylar's house.  Skylar's house was the 'party' house.  We would go down to his basement which had a huge TV, thousands upon thousands of movie choices, foosball, an endless amount of water bottles and peanut M&M's, a hot tub, a HUMUNGO backyard, the wii, playstation 2, aaaaannnnd Skylar also had a VERY attractive older brother who would sometimes come and chill with us too(sorry Rik).  We never ran out of options at the Sanford's house.  That night there was a couple tournaments going on, a Foosball Tournament, and a Bowling Tournament on the Wii.  It was INTENSE. And by intense I mean, screaming, jumping, yelling, running laps around the basement when someone scored ... intense.  We were down to the winning brackets.  If my memory serves me correctly, I believe it was Jon and Logan left on the foosball table and Christian and Skylar left on bowling.  Everyone else was scattered across the couch, bean bags, and any floor space left.  Leave it up to Christian to ruin a tournament... For those who don't know, the Wii is a nintendo game which you hold a controller that senses your movements.  Because it is an "active" video game, they have these wrist straps so if you accidentally let go of the controller, it doesn't fling across the room hitting someone or the TV.  Christian was obviously TOO COOL for wrist straps. DUH. So what happened? He got really excited when bowling, bowled too hard, and there flew the controller right smack into the Sanford's TV.  I think all of the girls gasped, and the room went silent for a moment.  Christian started laughing while everyone jumped up and inspected the TV.  Of course, there was a mark.  I don't think it cracked it, but there was a very legible indent proving that Christian had indeed, broke the rules and ruined the Tournament.  I believe to this day the Sanford's have a mark in the very same TV, no thanks to Christian.  

We all cleaned up rapidly and ran out of the house.  It was time for Katie to go home, so we have this lovely idea of racing to Katie's house.  All of the boys pile into Christian's  1990's Volkswagen Jetta while us girls gracefully jump into Daulton's 1980-somethin YELLOW  convertible Chevy Cavalier aka The Sunshine Mobile.  We were flying down streets.  Residential areas too, don't ask me how we didn't kill anyone or get a ticket.  But we were ffflllyyying down streets.  Us girls were screaming at Daulton to DRIVE FASTER!!! Under peer pressure, what did Daulton do? She drove faster of course.  We were ahead, we were going to win those stupid boys, all up until we noticed too late, the BIGGEST dip I ever did see.  Daulton locked the brakes up, but too late.  We hit that dip so hard, of course none of us had seat belts, and I swear the car soared 10 feet into the air.  We all smacked our heads on the metal bar that supports the soft top, and when that car landed it made the nastiest crunch EVER.  We had learned our lesson for that night, all of our necks hurt wildly, our pride hurt as the boys passed us, pointing, screaming, and laughing.  We drove silently the fews blocks to Katie's house, and we were terrified that we had broke Daulton's car.  We didn't race Daulton's car for like...... a day.. Up until the next opportunity for a race came up.. Pfff stupid kids we were indeed.  

^^^^^

One night all of 'the gang' was hanging out at Daulton's moms house.  We were sprawled out over the couches and floors telling jokes and listening to stories.  I'm pretty sure we were all 'dying' of boredom, so what does Christian do? He decides it's a good idea to start teasing me.  He starts poking me, tickling me, pulling my hair, pushing me off the couches.  Mean mean mean! So somehow this results in a huge little wrestling match.  I'm just a helpless little girl, guys.. Christian beat me up so bad! Anyways, Christian has got me rolled up, trapped, on the floor.  Daulton's mom had some papers left out on the floor, and on top of the papers were a great big shiny pair of scissors.  Christian swooped up the scissors threatening all the while of how he was going to chop my long hair off.  I knew that Christian wouldn't cut my hair, but I whooped and hollered all the same.  I'm trying to kick at him as he teases me waving these very sharp metal sticks at me.  I finally free my hand to reach up and smack him, just as he swoops those metaled teeth at my hair.  Unfortunately my hand got in the way of those scissors. Blood sprayed everywhere.  Christian instantly dropped the scissors and jumped back, as if no one would have noticed what was happening before them.  I kicked up and just stared at my hand.  Christian freaking cut my hand open with scissors! Didn't your mom teach you ANYTHING Christian?! You don't run with knives and you DON'T play with scissors!! Daulton's mom got home to see the bloody mess.  My hand is rrreeeaaaalllyyy starting to hurt by now.  So she grabs me and takes me upstairs to clean it up.  She put this cleaning stuff on it and it BURNED! It eventually stopped bleeding and we bandaged it up.  I don't think Christian ever lived that one down with me.  For weeks my hand would split open and bleed.  Think of how often you use your hands...  Every time I would extend my hand to grab something, that cut would burst open.  To this day, I have a scar that runs from by thumb to my palm.  It's only about an inch long, but it's still here.  No thanks to Christian.

 ^^^^^

Christian always came and supported us girls in our dancing.  All of us did Ballroom in highschool.  He would always come to our competitions and our performances.  He's a goooood friend.  Well, we had a competition at BYU Friday and Saturday.  He came to our Friday night performances and I'm sure afterwards we had all gathered spending our time together.  Cristin and Daulton had slept over at my house.  I did what's called 'Open' Latin Ballroom.  This is not a team event, it's individuals, just you and your partner and we did Latin style.  Both Daulton and Cristin had finished their events on Friday, and mine extended into Saturday.  So The next morning, both Cristin and Daulton had showered off their nasty dance hair&make up.  I was left in all of my full blown makeup and hair.  Ballroom 'get up' is scary.  You have pounds of makeup caked on your face, your hair is slicked back into a bun, resembling a bowling bowl.  Well Christian and Skylar wanted to go hike Bridal Veil Falls, and I didn't have competition until later, so we decided we had time to do it.  They came and picked us up, mind you Cristin&Daulton looked super cute while I'm in full blown dance makeup, and we headed to Provo Canyon.  We stopped by Will's Pitstop so Chris&Sky could pick up kids' meals from Subway.  We rolled the windows down and blasted Dashboard Confessionals: Vindicated, Blink 182: What's my Age Again, Flypsyde: Someday.  We danced, and sang, and enjoyed the fresh September breeze flapping through our hair. We got to Bridal Veil and raced up the mountain slope to the Falls.  We hiked to the upper one and splashed&played in the water. I remember having this raging crush on Christian at the time.  He would grab me and throw me in the water and I just soaked all of this boys attention up.  We brought a camera and took millions of pictures to document the day.  I have those pictures framed and hanging in my room, still.  

^^^^^

These memories came flooding to me this morning.  I have many more to tell.  As you can see, Christian is a goon.  This is the Christian I love.  This is MY Christian.  I hold this boy so dear to my heart.  I look forward to the time when he&i can reminisce and laugh at all of these simple little stories.  I'm thankful for high school and the friendships that I gained.  I'm thankful that these crazy boys would spend their time with us girls.  I love my friends.  

I love you Christian.  I continue to pray daily, nightly, hourly, and every waking second.  There is not a second that goes by where you are not held in my heart.  I am thankful for the friendship that I have formed with your parents, they are good parents who love you... I'll see you soon!! 

“How lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard.” 

― A.A. Milne, Winnie-the-Pooh

I never want to forget today.  The complete and utter raw emotion of it all.  The huge impact on your heart when suddenly you realize how much somebody means to you.  That despite where fate takes us, no matter what lies in the cards, I care, and I care so unbelievably much.

  

Fate is a hard thing to understand.  God is a hard man to accept.  It's not fair.  Life is not fair.  Death is not fair.  It all comes so quickly, the laughter, anger, memories, and then they are gone.  No matter how hard you try you can never replay a moment, make it go slower, or erase a memory.  My generation is too young for us to lose loved ones.  We have so much life ahead of us.. To stand by and watch the pain and suffering is more than I can bear.  I want to make it go away.  I wish and wish that the stars had aligned differently for you.  

“The most beautiful people we have known are those who have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss, and have found their way out of the depths. These persons have an appreciation, a sensitivity, and an understanding of life that fills them with compassion, gentleness, and a deep loving concern. Beautiful people do not just happen."

― Elisabeth Kübler-Ross

Because you have known defeat, and because you have known suffering, struggle, and loss.  I believe that you are a beautiful person.  I believe in you.  You are a beautiful person, and it was not by chance.

You're struggle is too big for your shoulders, and I am so sorry.  My dear friend I am so sorry.  I will be there for you, in the darkest of times.  I am so grateful that we were able to forgive and our paths have crossed once more.  These last few months spent with you have not been by chance, it was meant to be.  Our friendship will not dwindle.  I love you. I love you. I love you.

“Friendship," said Christopher Robin, "is a very comforting thing to have.” 
― A.A. Milne

I walked away hoping I had the strength in me to never look back,

but with every step I took forward,

It was another step away from my heart.

And acquaintances turn to friends, I hope those friends they remember me

Hold the night for ransom as we kidnap the memories

Not sure there is a way to express what you meant to me

Sit around a table and use those years as the centerpiece 

Reminisce on those days, I guess that's OK, you wonder why

Some grow up, move on, close the chapter, live separate lives

I'd be a goddamn liar to say at times I didn't miss it

So deuces, I turn my back as I walk into the distance

Dip my feet in every once in a while, just to say I visit

And we hold onto these nights

Trying to find our way home by the street light

Over time we figure out this is me, right

Learn a lot about your friends right around two A.M.

-Macklemore, Cowboy Boots

It's my turn!

Say whaaaaaaat?!

Can't believe I was nominated for this cool little blogging award.

Honestly... I had no idea what this was.  I even had to google it.  

But thanks to Demi, she nominated me! 

For some reason I am totally honored.

"Come on Shelby it's just a stupid blogging award."

I know I know.

But oddly enough, I thought it was seriously so sweet that SOMEBODY recognizes ME.

Cheesy enough? 

For those who don't know what the Liebster is, this award is for those who have less than 200 followers and is a way for them to get their name out. Once someone has tagged you in this award,

you then have to answer the questionnaire and send it off to somebody else.

Think of it as the Olympic Torch.  

Not everyone has the chance to pass along the torch.

It's probably a pain in the butt to have to run with a stinking torch.

But the fact is, YOU RAN WITH THE OLYMPIC TORCH!

here are the rules:

•must list 5 things about yourself

•answer 11 questions your nominee made for you

•choose your own 11 favorite blogs to nominate

•create questions for them to answer

•then let them know they have been nominated

SIMPLE.

First, I want to give a shoutout to the girl who made this possible, Demi.  

Sounds dramatic, but yet somehow true :)

Go check her blog out, demilucymay.blogspot.com

Somehow I feel like you guys won't be disappointed!!

P.S. Demi.. I'm following the layout of how you did your post on this. Not trying to be a copycat,

but I totally am.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

<Who is this strange creature we all know as Shelby Deason?>

1. My name is Shelby Kareline Deason.  I'm most commonly known as shelb. shelbs. shelberdelbs. delbs. shelbykar. chubby. chubbs. fat. I guess you could even  just call me shelby.  However you choose to address me, everyone KNOWS that I am a Deason. My family is my anchor, my saving grace, and who I am.  I couldn't be more proud to be a part of something so sacred.

2. I believe in an inner compass.  Without our inner guidance, we would all be lost.  If you stick to what you naturally know, you can't go wrong.  Mistakes and getting lost results in you not following your internal instinct, your inner compass.  Let me break this down a little bit easier.  You know when you have that pit-in-your-gut-I'm-gonna-sink-to-the-bottom-of-the-ocean feeling? Strangely, you have this odd sense of predicting the future? You know what the answer is before you even ask the question? THAT is your inner compass.  Always follow that feeling and you'll NEVER be lost.  You might lose people along the way, but you will never lose yourself.

3. I believe in Fairy Tales.  Every bit of them.  I believe in staying young forever.  I believe in Prince Charming.  I believe in happily ever afters. 

4. I have this odd desire of belonging.  Not that I feel that I DON'T belong.  But I want to belong to somebody.  I want to love them so much that I know I was placed on this earth to be in their arms.  I want to belong to a spectacular change.  I want to belong to an amazing successful career.  I want to belong to myself, to be free.  In every step of life, whether it be school, work, marriage, kids; I simply just want to belong.   

5. I think the most that I want out of life is to be happy.  Kind of a broad spectrum, I know.  I don't ever want to get caught up in the vanities of life. I don't ever want to take more than I can give.  I always want to put others needs above my own. I always want to work on being a better person.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

NOW FOR THE LIEBSTER QUESTIONS!

1. if you could do anything and money was no matter, what would you do?

I'd honestly travel.  I'd travel the entire world.  I would watch the northern lights, see the statue of David, inspect the portraits of DaVinci, test the waters of Fiji island, read a book on a train in paris, eat in Italy, go deep sea fishing in the Atlantic, watch Rent on Broadway in New York.  I'd do it all.

2. what is your favorite memory?

Wow.. this is HARD.  I'd have to say all of my Christmas memories.  Maybe it's because I'm in the holiday cheer right now.  Whatever the case, I love the anticipation of waking up on Christmas morning.  Finally giving in and rushing upstairs at 4 AM, and anxiously anticipating 7 AM when we can burst into Mom&Dad's room to not-so-nicely pull them out of bed to inform them Santa has come! We each have our own spot where we sit around the tree while dad passes out our gifts.  Those are my favorite mornings I'd have to say.

3. who has made the biggest impact on who you are today?

Easy.  My Mom.  My mom has given me my wings to fly and has patiently awaited for me to touch back down and tell her of my adventures.  She dreams my same dreams, shares my pain, laughter, and success.  I love my mom and I hope to be just like her when I become a mother of my own.

4. if you could be any celebrity, who would you be and why?

Easy Peezy Lemon Squeezy.. the one, the only, Jennifer Anniston! Call me crazy, but I love what she stands for, how she stays out of the tabloids, and I wouldn't mind to look like her.  Not mad.

5. what is your favorite holiday?

I'd have to say the 4th of July.  I love the celebration of Freedom.  The Red, White, and Blue! Obsessed with the fireworks, good company, short shorts, barefeet, and muh flag shirts.   Obviously, Christmas is a given as well.

6. what is your favorite movie?

For those of you who know me, I'm a movie fanatic!! How do I choose just ONE movie? Here are a few of my favorites: Lion King, Titanic, The Blood Diamond, Bride Wars, Tombstone, Young Guns, Dumb and Dumber, Sixteen Candles, Grease. The list goes on.  

7. who is your biggest role model?
Hmmm.. Other than my mom, my biggest role model.... One of the first people to come to mind is Erika Laws.  I'm not sure if by 'role model' you mean some huge celebrity or philosopher, but I instantly thought of my dear dear friend Riki.  She's a good person with a good heart.  I'm obsessed with her and I love all that she stands for.  This girl is definitely my role model.  However, the person I most want to be like is Daulton Deason.  My best friend, inspiration, and idol.  

8. where is the best vacation location?

Ojai, California. Look it up.

9. what goals do you have for the next year?

Finish my associates degree.  Declare a major and STICK with it.  Continue with my journey of photography.  And to stay on the path of happiness and success! :)

10. what were you like in high school?

Um.. Wow.  Everybody knew who I was.  It wasn't because I was 'popular', or the Hot Girl, or the most athletic, or the smartest, or the most outgoing, or the class clown, or the richest.  I think it was simply because I tried to meet as many people as I could.  I was a drifter.  I never really 'belonged' to a clique.  I associated with people of all shapes and sizes.  I danced, cheered, and played soccer.  I got good grades and probably ditched a class EVERY day.  I managed to get sent to the principal's office every stinkin' year too.  I'm not really sure how I was in high school, but I loved every minute of it.  

11. what makes you happy?

I actually have what I call a "Happy  Book".  I write down everything that makes me happy.  It's filled with childhood memories, favorite smells, favorite people, all the way down to barefeet.  I constantly write in my 'happy book' to ensure that I won't forget the simple things in life.  I love to meander through the filled pages, smiling at what I wrote.  I get all warm and fuzzy when I write in my book.  All of you should start a happy book, it saves me in dark times and reminds me that life is beautiful. 

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Time to pay it forward!

<I'm breaking the rules, I don't love 11 blogs, bear with me>

Daulton

MOM

Megnog

TayTay

Riki

Ali

Tag... You're it. 

HAVE FUN!

-xoxoxo shelbykar.

Believe in CT.

This is my friend Christian.

I've been friends with Christian since I was a little 7th grader, I was 13 years old.  My sophomore year in high school is really when our friendship developed.  I've been hanging out with this cool cat since I was 15 years old.  We had a 2 year break while he served an LDS mission, but since his return last May, it's been just like old times. 

I share many important memories with Christian.  He's been one of my very favorite people for the last 6 years.  We've gone to school dances, Fiesta Palooza, the Hot Pots, concerts, bon fires, and many more things together.  I wrote Christian while he was on his mission, he would always reply with funny letters and pictures.  He even sent out a Christmas card of him and his companion.  He's a goon.

 One time, this last June, Christian came boating with my family.  Now, we don't have a very nice boat or anything like that, but it's a boat nonetheless.  Christian was so excited because he hadn't been in water for 2 years.  The moment we hit the lake, Christian was jumping ship, splashing in the water and laughing his brains out.  He'd never been water skiing before so my dad threw him a rope and off we went.  He was a natural!!! Totally showed me up that little stinker.  Also, he'd never driven a boat.   My dad wanted to ski and Christian offered that he would drive.... BIG mistake.  I think my dads arms almost got ripped off at least 3 times.  Christian wasn't even sorry, he was just all smiles.

This is one of the many laughs Christian has produced in my life.  I couldn't be happier to have a boy like him in my life.  My birthday was on September 28. I turned 21 and my friends were bound and determined to provide me the greatest surprise EVER.  Megan and Daulton kidnapped me and drove me to Park City! We were gonna eat, shop, spend the night and the following morning we would ride the Zip line, Coaster, and Alpine slide! Christian, Skylar, Jordan, Eric, and J-Stowe were meeting us after dinner, spending the night with us, and celebrating our festivities tomorrow as well.  Man I have the GREATEST friends.

Unfortunately, our plans did not follow through.  Christian is a photographer, so he was going to go take pictures at the Great Salt Lake, then take Parley's canyon and meet us in Park City.  Christian never got to take pictures that night.  On his way, Christian was involved in a head on collision.  We still don't know who's "fault" it was, but the assumption is both drivers were drifting in the other lane.  Christian was hit by a Park City Shuttle Bus, which is just a very large van.  The Shuttle Bus was flipped on it's side, the other driver walked away without a scratch.  Christian didn't.  On impact, the engine was compacted into the cab and was left sitting on Christian's lap.  It burned him down to the bone.  Christian broke both legs.  He has 7 different compound fractures.  One in his left foot, both shins (tibia and fibula), and both femurs.  A compound break is a broken bone that has punctured through the skin.  He also had a punctured lung and lacerated liver.  Christian was trapped in the car, the jaws of life cut the roof off, he was finally rescued from the compacted car and Life Flighted to the Murray Hospital.  Christian was awake and talking to the Rescue Team.  He told them that his pain "really wasn't that bad".  I've since learned, that most victims who break just one femur in an accident like that, often go into a shock and bleed to death.

The human body holds 4.5 liters of blood.  In his accident, Christian lost 4 liters.  He was taken into emergency surgery where they were able to save his legs, HOORAY! He is put back together by rods and screws.  Christian went into surgery talking and laughing, that was the last time anybody ever saw Christian's beautiful smile and heard his beautiful laugh.

This is Christian now.

Christian has since slipped into a coma and hasn't responded in 18 days.  We have been told it will be a very lengthy and EMOTIONAL process.  It has not fallen short of that yet. Christian's lungs have healed(thankfully!), and our biggest concern now is his brain.  We have been told it is a high possibility that Christian will come out with some form of brain damage.  We still don't know the extent and severity of what the damage will/could be.

I have been on an emotional roller coaster for almost 3 weeks now. We've had the heartache of resuscitating Christian multiple times now.  Please, pray for my friend.  Be you religious or not, I believe that good thoughts go towards those in need.  If anybody can make it through this, it's Christian Terry.  I wish I could convey how much this boy means to me.  He's my best friend.

You can go onto facebook and there is a page titled Believe in CT.  Go 'like' it, you'll receive updates and can read, in detail, what has and IS happening.  Christian has not just touched my life, but thousands.  He is an avid photographer.  Look up his flickr account, Christian Terry.  His talent will blow you away.  Log onto instagram and twitter, search the hashtag #believeinct.  You'll see the impact he has had on this earth.  Spread the word.

I'm pulling for him, and I will see him through this.  He is such a good kid.  Please pray for the good CTerry. Keep hope alive.

 Believe in CT.

When September Ends.

You know they say life is short.  They say you wake up one day, and on that day all of your dreams and everything you wished for and wanted are gone.  Just like that.  People get old and things change and situations change.  What I want is this moment, this day, to last forever.

Six years ago today, we lost Keith.  September 26, 2006.  I was a freshmen in high school.  In fact, I was wearing a white t-shirt and black shorts.  I was in PE.  As I was walking into the locker room to change, I saw Diana.  She was crying and I looked at her and I just knew.  I told her to leave me alone and I walked away.  Cydnee came into the locker room, grabbed me, and dragged me out to meet Tanna.  It was a really hard day.  It was a really hard week.  Heck, it was a really hard YEAR.

Although the years gap and time accumulates, the memories remain.  Without fail, every September is a dreadful one.  I relive the days, the process, and the heartache.  When it all first happened, I stayed home from school for weeks and all I did was sleep.  I think I slept for a solid three days with no interruptions.  I cried and I cried and I cried.

At the funeral, there were tons of beautiful speakers.  Everyone kept the ick out and we just remembered the good.  They talked about you and how you were in your day to day life.  Right after the cemetery, everyone gathered at the house.  I remember standing in the backyard, the rain pouring over me, and for the first time in weeks, I felt you there with me.  As the rain poured, so did my tears.  But for the first time, it was good tears.  With every drop on my cheek, it felt as if you were embracing me.  I'll never forget that.

Every September I do this.  I remember you.  I sit and I go through every detail of that day.  I still cry.  I hate September.  I hate the 26th. Wake me up when September ends.

The Waiting Place.

The Waiting Place.....for people just waiting.

Waiting for a train to go or a bus to come, or a plane to go or the mail to come,

or the rain to go or the phone to ring, or the snow to snow, 

or waiting around for a Yes or a No, or waiting for their hair to grow.

Everyone is just waiting.

Waiting for the fish to bite or waiting for the wind to fly a kite,

or waiting around for Friday night or waiting, perhaps, for their Uncle Jake,

or a pot to boil, or a Better Break, or a string of pearls, or a pair of pants or a wig with curls, or Another Chance.

Everyone is just waiting.

NO! That's not for you!

Somehow you'll escape all that waiting and staying.

You'll find the bright places where Boom Bands are playing.

-Dr. Seuss

I love Dr. Seuss.  In a short childish poem, he conveys the wisest message.  And I've done exactly as he says.  I've waited......and I've waited....aannnddd I've waited.  I've been in the Waiting Place for years now.  I've waited on others, I've waited on me, I've waited to to turn into a grown up, not wild nor free.  

I've waited for fate to run its course, and I have waited for love to grow.  I love when Dr. Seuss says 'you'll find the bright places where Boom Bands are playing.'  That's for me.  I'm off to bigger and better things.  I'll find the dashing young prince, the bag pipes a-blowing, and all the while I'll be growing and growing.  

I still think a part of me will always be waiting on you, and I can't change that until my heart decides to un-anchor.  But I can continue down a path filled with confetti and chiming bells.  I'll march to my own beat, I'll dance to my own swing, and through it all,  I'll be silly ol' ME.

Miss these crazies.

My Summer of Dreams has come to an end. 

Lish: is living in student housing and going to UVU.

Nuggs: is back home being a BYU cheerleader and all.

Delbs: is back home going to UVU.

Riks: is off to bigger and better things in Romania. 

Although we have all come to the fork in the road and chose our own path, nothing can break the bond we discovered as roomies.  I love these girls with all my heart.  We had a fantastic summer together. 

There weren't many times where we were all home at the same time, or even in the same place at the same time, but we were able to spend time with one another individually. 

Lish will forever be my 'get fat and watch movies' buddy.  We would stuff our faces full of chocolate and popcorn while enjoying a crazy movie.  We only lasted as long as the treats did, but snuggling on the couch was prime. 

Nuggs.  Oh good ol' Nuggs.  My little cutie! Sharing a room, bed, bathroom, closet, shower, toothpaste, deodarant, blow dryer, clothes, food, and body spray was ALL that I could ask for.  She made my summer LEGIT. 

Tay and I would always say we were gonna get up in the morning and work out... Did we? NO.

  We said we'd hang out almost every night.. Did we? NO. 

We said we would go to The Pizza Factory like 15 times... Did we? NO. 

 We said we'd go to the gym.. Did we? NO. 

We said that we would call each other.. Did we? NO.

Mmmmkayy.  You get the point.  Despite all the NO's, Tay and I DID find time for each other.  We would stay up laughing until 4 AM even when we both had work in the morning.  I'd tickle her back and she would... well she'd just sit there I guess.  We planned pool parties and those were SUPA fun! Although Nuggs and Delbs didn't do all the things we planned, we had some quality time together.  I wish she'd move into my house now so we could still snuggle. :)

Riki... Oh little Riki.. This girl was NEVER home.  I think we all saw her for a total of 20 minutes in 3 months.. Just kidding :)  Riki is my go-to girl.  I think I lay ALL of my problems on her and I truly respect her advice.  We played foosball and ping-pong, and she let me eat all of her yummy food that she brought home.  I'm really going to miss her, with her being across the Globe and all. 

I miss muh-girls.  They're the greatest girls I could have asked to have as roomies.  I can't wait for Riki to come home from Romania so we can all sit down and plan a wedding together.  I can't wait when we can all be reunited.  I love you all like mad. 

Riks... Good luck out there, 3 months is shorter than we think!

ROOMIES FO' LIFE!!

The Boy Who Wouldn't Grow Up.

For any of you who are unfamiliar with the story of Peter Pan, it goes a little something like this:

In a little town of London, a little girl, Wendy, tells her two baby brothers, John and Michael, a story about Peter Pan, a boy who wouldn't grow up.  He fights pirates, flies, leads rebellions, befriends pixies and mermaids, and is the leader of The Lost Boys.  Fed up with her stories, their father angrily declares that it is time for Wendy to grow up.  She is no longer able to share a room in the nursery.  That night, Peter Pan himself appears in their room and with a little "Faith, Trust, and Pixie Dust", he whisks them off to Neverland.  

Neverland is a place where you never grow up, you believe in pixies and mermaids and crocodiles and pirates and staying a kid forever.

That's where I belong.  I believe that I can fly with a little faith, trust, and pixie dust.  I believe in mermaids and pirates. I believe in happy ever afters. I believe in Prince Charming.  I believe in fairy tales.  I believe that all of my problems can be solved by kissing a frog. I believe in 3 wishes.  I believe that music cures  broken hearts.  I believe in children.  I believe in dreams, big dreams.  I believe in chasing the stars.  I believe in white horses.  I believe in dragons.  I believe in knights in shining armor.  I do believe in fairies, I do, I DO! 

 I believe, I believe, I believe, I believe.

Roomies For LIFE!

I have these really cool roommates.  I even got nicknamed a really cool name too.  They call me delbs.  But what's cooler, is we call Taylor nuggs; she's black.  But Riki and Lish are still just called Riki and Lish.  Obviously nuggs&delbs are ranked higher in the house because of our cool names. Right?

We have really cool adventures as roomies.  I get to cuddle with Taylor EVERY night.  That's like a dream come true for me.  I mean, who gets to complain when I wake up on top of Tay only to find her snoring?! Every once in a while we are all home at the SAME time.  I constantly giggle.  And I have this really cool wardrobe now if y'all haven't noticed yet.  Aaaaannnddd. I get to go on cool trips too!  One time, we all even went to Moab and we took a detour stop in Colorado, then backtracked 100 miles to get to our destination.  That was all Blake's fault, I guess he just wanted to cross a state line?!...

  

Even one time, before we were roommates, we convinced half of the Facebook world that Riki&Blake were engaged.  But we sure got them.  That just proves how funny we all are.  

I really love my roommates.  I love how funny they are.  We will all definitely be Roomies for LIFE!

Aren't we so HOTT?!

I miss the old you.

It's a simple statement. I miss the old you.

I miss the days filled with summer love. We used to run around like 2 kids without a worry in the world. 

I miss going fishing with you. We always had the craziest adventures. 

I remember your birthday. That was a GOOD day.

I miss how close we use to be. 

I remember being so angry with my mom one day, I stormed out of the house and I had no idea where I was going. Somehow I ended up in your front yard and you came out and asked me "What's wrong?" and I replied "I just needed to see you." At that time, that answer sufficed. 

I miss laughing. The way you made me laugh was unbelievable. 

I miss the days when they were filled with you. 

Crazy phone calls, constant texts, arguing, laughing, planning our next adventures.

 I miss going to the lake and begging you not to push me in. I knew it was coming, but I'd always squeal before you flung me over the edge.

I miss hiding in trees and on tops of churches. 

I miss your friendship. It just made sense. 

I miss our talks about how scary the future was. 

I miss how easy it was. Without hesitation, I would pick up the phone and dial your number just to tell you how frustrated I was. But now, I can hardly choke out "Hi". 

I miss how I would look into your eyes and know exactly how you felt at that moment. I don't understand what happened and how things changed. 

But I miss you. 

I miss the OLD you. 

I miss the old ME.