When September Ends.

You know they say life is short.  They say you wake up one day, and on that day all of your dreams and everything you wished for and wanted are gone.  Just like that.  People get old and things change and situations change.  What I want is this moment, this day, to last forever.

Six years ago today, we lost Keith.  September 26, 2006.  I was a freshmen in high school.  In fact, I was wearing a white t-shirt and black shorts.  I was in PE.  As I was walking into the locker room to change, I saw Diana.  She was crying and I looked at her and I just knew.  I told her to leave me alone and I walked away.  Cydnee came into the locker room, grabbed me, and dragged me out to meet Tanna.  It was a really hard day.  It was a really hard week.  Heck, it was a really hard YEAR.

Although the years gap and time accumulates, the memories remain.  Without fail, every September is a dreadful one.  I relive the days, the process, and the heartache.  When it all first happened, I stayed home from school for weeks and all I did was sleep.  I think I slept for a solid three days with no interruptions.  I cried and I cried and I cried.

At the funeral, there were tons of beautiful speakers.  Everyone kept the ick out and we just remembered the good.  They talked about you and how you were in your day to day life.  Right after the cemetery, everyone gathered at the house.  I remember standing in the backyard, the rain pouring over me, and for the first time in weeks, I felt you there with me.  As the rain poured, so did my tears.  But for the first time, it was good tears.  With every drop on my cheek, it felt as if you were embracing me.  I'll never forget that.

Every September I do this.  I remember you.  I sit and I go through every detail of that day.  I still cry.  I hate September.  I hate the 26th. Wake me up when September ends.