When September Ends.

You know they say life is short.  They say you wake up one day, and on that day all of your dreams and everything you wished for and wanted are gone.  Just like that.  People get old and things change and situations change.  What I want is this moment, this day, to last forever.

Six years ago today, we lost Keith.  September 26, 2006.  I was a freshmen in high school.  In fact, I was wearing a white t-shirt and black shorts.  I was in PE.  As I was walking into the locker room to change, I saw Diana.  She was crying and I looked at her and I just knew.  I told her to leave me alone and I walked away.  Cydnee came into the locker room, grabbed me, and dragged me out to meet Tanna.  It was a really hard day.  It was a really hard week.  Heck, it was a really hard YEAR.

Although the years gap and time accumulates, the memories remain.  Without fail, every September is a dreadful one.  I relive the days, the process, and the heartache.  When it all first happened, I stayed home from school for weeks and all I did was sleep.  I think I slept for a solid three days with no interruptions.  I cried and I cried and I cried.

At the funeral, there were tons of beautiful speakers.  Everyone kept the ick out and we just remembered the good.  They talked about you and how you were in your day to day life.  Right after the cemetery, everyone gathered at the house.  I remember standing in the backyard, the rain pouring over me, and for the first time in weeks, I felt you there with me.  As the rain poured, so did my tears.  But for the first time, it was good tears.  With every drop on my cheek, it felt as if you were embracing me.  I'll never forget that.

Every September I do this.  I remember you.  I sit and I go through every detail of that day.  I still cry.  I hate September.  I hate the 26th. Wake me up when September ends.

The Waiting Place.

The Waiting Place.....for people just waiting.

Waiting for a train to go or a bus to come, or a plane to go or the mail to come,

or the rain to go or the phone to ring, or the snow to snow, 

or waiting around for a Yes or a No, or waiting for their hair to grow.

Everyone is just waiting.

Waiting for the fish to bite or waiting for the wind to fly a kite,

or waiting around for Friday night or waiting, perhaps, for their Uncle Jake,

or a pot to boil, or a Better Break, or a string of pearls, or a pair of pants or a wig with curls, or Another Chance.

Everyone is just waiting.

NO! That's not for you!

Somehow you'll escape all that waiting and staying.

You'll find the bright places where Boom Bands are playing.

-Dr. Seuss

I love Dr. Seuss.  In a short childish poem, he conveys the wisest message.  And I've done exactly as he says.  I've waited......and I've waited....aannnddd I've waited.  I've been in the Waiting Place for years now.  I've waited on others, I've waited on me, I've waited to to turn into a grown up, not wild nor free.  

I've waited for fate to run its course, and I have waited for love to grow.  I love when Dr. Seuss says 'you'll find the bright places where Boom Bands are playing.'  That's for me.  I'm off to bigger and better things.  I'll find the dashing young prince, the bag pipes a-blowing, and all the while I'll be growing and growing.  

I still think a part of me will always be waiting on you, and I can't change that until my heart decides to un-anchor.  But I can continue down a path filled with confetti and chiming bells.  I'll march to my own beat, I'll dance to my own swing, and through it all,  I'll be silly ol' ME.

Miss these crazies.

My Summer of Dreams has come to an end. 

Lish: is living in student housing and going to UVU.

Nuggs: is back home being a BYU cheerleader and all.

Delbs: is back home going to UVU.

Riks: is off to bigger and better things in Romania. 

Although we have all come to the fork in the road and chose our own path, nothing can break the bond we discovered as roomies.  I love these girls with all my heart.  We had a fantastic summer together. 

There weren't many times where we were all home at the same time, or even in the same place at the same time, but we were able to spend time with one another individually. 

Lish will forever be my 'get fat and watch movies' buddy.  We would stuff our faces full of chocolate and popcorn while enjoying a crazy movie.  We only lasted as long as the treats did, but snuggling on the couch was prime. 

Nuggs.  Oh good ol' Nuggs.  My little cutie! Sharing a room, bed, bathroom, closet, shower, toothpaste, deodarant, blow dryer, clothes, food, and body spray was ALL that I could ask for.  She made my summer LEGIT. 

Tay and I would always say we were gonna get up in the morning and work out... Did we? NO.

  We said we'd hang out almost every night.. Did we? NO. 

We said we would go to The Pizza Factory like 15 times... Did we? NO. 

 We said we'd go to the gym.. Did we? NO. 

We said that we would call each other.. Did we? NO.

Mmmmkayy.  You get the point.  Despite all the NO's, Tay and I DID find time for each other.  We would stay up laughing until 4 AM even when we both had work in the morning.  I'd tickle her back and she would... well she'd just sit there I guess.  We planned pool parties and those were SUPA fun! Although Nuggs and Delbs didn't do all the things we planned, we had some quality time together.  I wish she'd move into my house now so we could still snuggle. :)

Riki... Oh little Riki.. This girl was NEVER home.  I think we all saw her for a total of 20 minutes in 3 months.. Just kidding :)  Riki is my go-to girl.  I think I lay ALL of my problems on her and I truly respect her advice.  We played foosball and ping-pong, and she let me eat all of her yummy food that she brought home.  I'm really going to miss her, with her being across the Globe and all. 

I miss muh-girls.  They're the greatest girls I could have asked to have as roomies.  I can't wait for Riki to come home from Romania so we can all sit down and plan a wedding together.  I can't wait when we can all be reunited.  I love you all like mad. 

Riks... Good luck out there, 3 months is shorter than we think!

ROOMIES FO' LIFE!!

The Boy Who Wouldn't Grow Up.

For any of you who are unfamiliar with the story of Peter Pan, it goes a little something like this:

In a little town of London, a little girl, Wendy, tells her two baby brothers, John and Michael, a story about Peter Pan, a boy who wouldn't grow up.  He fights pirates, flies, leads rebellions, befriends pixies and mermaids, and is the leader of The Lost Boys.  Fed up with her stories, their father angrily declares that it is time for Wendy to grow up.  She is no longer able to share a room in the nursery.  That night, Peter Pan himself appears in their room and with a little "Faith, Trust, and Pixie Dust", he whisks them off to Neverland.  

Neverland is a place where you never grow up, you believe in pixies and mermaids and crocodiles and pirates and staying a kid forever.

That's where I belong.  I believe that I can fly with a little faith, trust, and pixie dust.  I believe in mermaids and pirates. I believe in happy ever afters. I believe in Prince Charming.  I believe in fairy tales.  I believe that all of my problems can be solved by kissing a frog. I believe in 3 wishes.  I believe that music cures  broken hearts.  I believe in children.  I believe in dreams, big dreams.  I believe in chasing the stars.  I believe in white horses.  I believe in dragons.  I believe in knights in shining armor.  I do believe in fairies, I do, I DO! 

 I believe, I believe, I believe, I believe.

Roomies For LIFE!

I have these really cool roommates.  I even got nicknamed a really cool name too.  They call me delbs.  But what's cooler, is we call Taylor nuggs; she's black.  But Riki and Lish are still just called Riki and Lish.  Obviously nuggs&delbs are ranked higher in the house because of our cool names. Right?

We have really cool adventures as roomies.  I get to cuddle with Taylor EVERY night.  That's like a dream come true for me.  I mean, who gets to complain when I wake up on top of Tay only to find her snoring?! Every once in a while we are all home at the SAME time.  I constantly giggle.  And I have this really cool wardrobe now if y'all haven't noticed yet.  Aaaaannnddd. I get to go on cool trips too!  One time, we all even went to Moab and we took a detour stop in Colorado, then backtracked 100 miles to get to our destination.  That was all Blake's fault, I guess he just wanted to cross a state line?!...

  

Even one time, before we were roommates, we convinced half of the Facebook world that Riki&Blake were engaged.  But we sure got them.  That just proves how funny we all are.  

I really love my roommates.  I love how funny they are.  We will all definitely be Roomies for LIFE!

Aren't we so HOTT?!

I miss the old you.

It's a simple statement. I miss the old you.

I miss the days filled with summer love. We used to run around like 2 kids without a worry in the world. 

I miss going fishing with you. We always had the craziest adventures. 

I remember your birthday. That was a GOOD day.

I miss how close we use to be. 

I remember being so angry with my mom one day, I stormed out of the house and I had no idea where I was going. Somehow I ended up in your front yard and you came out and asked me "What's wrong?" and I replied "I just needed to see you." At that time, that answer sufficed. 

I miss laughing. The way you made me laugh was unbelievable. 

I miss the days when they were filled with you. 

Crazy phone calls, constant texts, arguing, laughing, planning our next adventures.

 I miss going to the lake and begging you not to push me in. I knew it was coming, but I'd always squeal before you flung me over the edge.

I miss hiding in trees and on tops of churches. 

I miss your friendship. It just made sense. 

I miss our talks about how scary the future was. 

I miss how easy it was. Without hesitation, I would pick up the phone and dial your number just to tell you how frustrated I was. But now, I can hardly choke out "Hi". 

I miss how I would look into your eyes and know exactly how you felt at that moment. I don't understand what happened and how things changed. 

But I miss you. 

I miss the OLD you. 

I miss the old ME.

American Honey.

Many, or most, of you will be familiar with the song 'American Honey' by Lady A.  I've always loved it.  Always have I enjoyed it.  I remember belting it out when they opened for Tim McGraw a couple summers ago. I have heard and I have enjoyed this song.  But never have I listened.

I love this song.  I have it on repeat everywhere I go.  I'm obsessed.  I was with Daulton on Sunday night and one of our friends, Jill, sang it to us.  Not only does Jill have a phenomenal voice, but I really listened to the song for the first time.  I've been hooked ever since.

I know it's silly, but do you ever hear a song and think to yourself "That's ME."  I did with this song.  I play the guitar so I was all grumpy that I wasn't clever enough to think of the song myself.  However, the point being, I feel like that song showed my soul.

There is a part where it says:

Steady as a preacher

Free as a weed

Couldn't wait to get goin'

But wasn't quite ready to leave

So innocent, pure and sweet

American Honey

It catches my breath EVERY time.  On the reals, this is ME.  I've always felt like I have had roots tying me down and that I am a home-body. On the contrary, I believe I am a free spirit.  I see things differently and I love to fly. 

 I've always wanted to "get goin'".  I have always gone mock shnell and never stopped.  I'm the girl who 'has it all together'.  Yet I find myself becoming an adult and I'm just not ready..  

I love this song.  It is simply ME.  I wanted to share that with my fellow bloggers.  

Photo Compliments of SD... ME!!!! :)