Oh The Places You'll Go.

Yesterday I was on a bike ride with two of my closest friends, Carly&Daulton.  It had been a long day and we were ALL in need of a nice leisurely stroll.  We set out when the sun was going down, casting beautiful colors across the fields and dancing shadows on the street from the swaying trees.  There is nothing, absolutely nothing, as great as an evening bike ride in the middle of June with people you love.  We didn't have a destination, just an adventure.

We passed beautiful houses, streams, fields, and groves.  It was an amazing sight that I needed.  I drank every bit of it up.

Carly was riding ahead of us, deep in her own thoughts.  I so badly wanted her to ease up on the speed&enjoy every minute like I was.  But Carly is a soul who sometimes just needs her own time, and when she's ready to talk/see/listen/enjoy, she comes around.  Doll&i kept quiet most of the ride, but I believe it was the perfect sunset&surroundings that lead us to our conversation.  We spoke of ambitions; some I didn't know I even had.  I got to know a little bit more of my true best friend.  The things you learn when you just listen.  I opened my ears&heart and I envisioned her future just as she was imagining it.

Where my generation is in the world today is an awkward place.  We are shaping who we wish to be, as well as building a road that our own children and our children's children will follow.  Like I have said before, the choices we make now define who we become.  Daulton was so sure of where she wanted to be.  She wants to be successful, educated, married, and happy.  She is on the right road.

It made me think of me, and where I am headed.  The future is so clouded, not because we can't see ahead, but because we decide what is in front of us.  My ambitions seemed so big, yet my actions are so feeble.  I want to be like Daulton.  I want to be successful and educated, as well as married and happy! I feel as if I have been at a fork in the road.  And instead of choosing which path I wanted to take, I sat cross-legged looking ahead, thinking of every little thing that could go wrong on each road.  My dear friend inspired me to take a chance.  (Daulton is a believer in LOVE. She believes that everything will work out and to go for it.  She's the girl who JUMPS in the pool, never having touched it first.  I'm the girl who puts her big toe in&after tasting the cold, I decide I don't want to swim after all.)  Listening to her describe her future, I painted mine.

Oh the places we can go if we only believe...

Just say 3 words.

Live Your Life.  The most simple saying, yet the most tangled actions...

 The choices you make define who you are.  Who you date is who you will marry.  The people you surround yourself with is the person you become.  Your life IS influenced by the outside world. 

These sayings are some I'm sure you have heard.  I believe it is all summed up into those 3 words, Live Your Life.  These 'words' mean so much to me that I have them tattooed on my body, to forever remind me to

 live my life. 

Expectations... They are easy to set and hard to fulfill.  I hate letting people down.  In a weird way I guess you could say I'm a brown noser.  From experiencing disappoint myself, I HATE knowing I've disappointed someone I love&care about.  I think that ultimately, disappointment is the worst hurt. I try really hard to be a loyal friend, a loving daughter, a good neighbor, an enthusiastic sister, a beautiful girl, a hardworking woman, and an all around good person.  I set my standards high and I work on things I need to fix.  My mom has always told me that EVERYONE has an inner compass.  It's what directs them in hard times, that pit in your gut when you know something isn't right, and it always directs you home.  Mistakes are a result when one hasn't 'listened' to their inner compass.  I'm pretty intact with my compass, I think.

Choices.. It's when your driving down the road and right when you're about to hit the intersection, the traffic lights turns from green to yellow.  In that 1 second period you CHOOSE to either STOP or GO.  Now whatever consequence comes from that traffic light, that was your DECISION.  That's how life is.  You choose your letter grade in a classroom setting.  You choose to snooze your alarm another 5 minutes every morning.  You choose to put a smile on your face.  You choose the outfit you put on&the message it gives.  Get it? It's all choices YOU make.

I know I'm rambling, but in my head it all ties together.*  Without boring you to death, I'd like to finish this with some sort of sense to it.  I believe that you choose to be where you are.  But sometimes expectations get in the way.  Fear holds you in place, wondering if you'll make the right choice.  Sometimes your so afraid to go after what you want because you're afraid of what somebody else might think or say about you.  But if it's not how you think YOU should be, don't let it hold you back.  Don't let someone else define who you become.  You were given wings to fly on your own.  So spread them&don't look back.  Sometimes the cliff you're standing on is right where you belong&it is YOUR decision to jump.  Don't let someone else dictate these IMPORTANT aspects on shaping who you want to be.  Don't let someone else live your life, after all there is only one YOU.

So I'm going to take my own advice, look at this beautiful tattoo I have, and I am going to Live MY Life.

*It's the wee hours of the morning, I can't sleep, and so I am writing.  I'll reread what I posted tomorrow&chances are, I'll be embarassed by this whole thing.  But hey, cut me some slack okay?

Summer how I miss you.

Mmmk. I'm the type of person that doesn't want to grow up. I know most people say things like that, but I really mean it.  There is a part of me that seriously believes that Peter Pan will show up to my window&whisk me away off to Neverland.  I'm not saying that growing up is bad, because I love it.  It's just the concept that my brain really has a hard time wrapping itself around.  I graduated May 2010.  I've been graduated for a year now, wwwhhaaaaattt? Everyone says after graduation your life really starts, I feel like it's ending.  Not only have I officially been out of high school for a year now, I'm turning 20 this year!!  You can only imagine how disgusted, frustrated, and nervous I am.  Anyways, my summer 2010 was a fairytale.  I had the best friends, family, job, and had the time of my life. 

When summer came to a close, so did my fairytale.  Some friends left for college, some on missions, some friends went East to discover who they are, and I, well I stayed here.  Being that all of my closest friends who left for college, they're home! I should be completely stoked about this.  Being that it's a new year a new summer.. things have changed.  I'm having a really hard time with that.  In fact I want things to be just how they were.  We all realize that's never the case.  I guess the moral of the story is I miss what used to be.  Heartbreaking huh? Yeah well it happens:).  I'm not asking for sympathy, I just want to know what's taking Peter Pan so long?..